Veiled Obscurity
by Grape Nehi
Summary: When Radar reveals his struggle with his sexuality to Hawkeye and BJ, they have no choice but to disclose their own secrets in hope of helping their friend. RadarHawkeyeBJ slash. Who says I'm not original?
1. Chapter 1

This is a Hawkeye/Radar/BJ slash. Who says I'm not original? Anyway there is more to come as soon as I get the chance to write more. If you have any good ideas for what can happen in this story I'd love to hear them. I know this is slightly out of character, but... it's entertaining. _G.N._

**Disclaimer:** Not... mine? What? Fine... whatever.

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"Hiya Radar!"

"Hey Radar!"

Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt were both laughing hysterically when Radar strolled into the Swamp. When they saw the corporal appear in their doorway they had tried to muffle their laughter but that only made it more obvious that they had been joking about him just moments before he entered.

"What's up Radar?" Hawkeye asked as he spread out on his cot and finally controlled himself.

"Oh nothing," Radar said in that voice that said that something was up and he just didn't want to say it.

"C'mon," BJ said as he too stopped laughing. Now there was just a brilliant smile on his face. "You just stopped by to say hi?"

"Uh no," Radar said as he looked at the ground.

"Radar what's the matter?" Hawkeye asked as he lazily tried to get up from the bunk. "You can tell us anything. You forget that we are doctors. That means we literally know you inside out."

"It's real personal. That's all," Radar whimpered.

"Do you want us to guess?" BJ asked as his smile started to fade.

"No, no. I'm just having some trouble with..." Radar paused. "Girls."

"Girls are very intricate things, dear boy. I'm afraid you will have to be more specific," Hawkeye said with a smirk.

"I've never... you know," Radar mumbled.

"Yeah, we know that you've never you knowed," BJ replied.

"There's nothing wrong with that Radar," Hawkeye reassured.

"Well maybe it's because I don't like girls."

Hawkeye grabbed onto the stem of his martini glass and held on for dear life. He looked over at BJ, who was about as surprised as he was. BJ stared back at him as if to say, _I think this is your department, Hawk_.

"This is definitely my department," Hawkeye whispered. He cleared his throat. "Why do you think you don't like girls?"

"Because I just don't get excited around them," Radar muttered. 

"And you do around guys?" BJ asked. He knew the obvious answer. He just wanted to hear it aloud from the corporal to make sure that he wasn't imagining anything. This was a huge surprise to him. But as he stared over at Hawkeye he saw in his eyes that maybe he had been expecting this all along.

"Yes." Radar paused. "I think. I'm not sure yet. That's why I wanted to talk to you guys about it."

The two captains stared at each other. "Hawkeye," BJ sighed. "Are you going to tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Radar asked curiously.

"Hold on, Radar. I don't know yet. I'm just not sure about any of this," Hawkeye gasped as he felt all of the air escape him. Did he really want to give up his biggest secret to Radar O'Reilly, the boy who loved him more than anything and looked up to him? It could crush him. Or it could help him.

"Whatever it is I wanna know," Radar whimpered.

Hawkeye took a deep breath. "Okay."

BJ stared at his tent mate. "Are you sure Hawkeye?"

"Yeah. You already know anyway. What's one more?"

"Radar," Hawkeye said in a very quiet voice as he stared straight into the corporal's eyes. "I'm bisexual."

Radar's eyes widened as he listened. "Really?"

"Yeah really! You think I would just say that for laughs?" Hawkeye barked.

"No."

"Sorry," Hawkeye said.

BJ got up from his cot and started to leave the Swamp. "You don't have to go, BJ," Hawkeye said.

"You need to help Radar. It'll be better if I'm not here." Truthfully he was embarrassed. He knew that the subject of him was going to come up and he knew that his secret would be revealed. He wouldn't be able to breathe if the words slipped out of someone else's mouth besides his own. Maybe he should just stay and tell Radar himself. No. He wouldn't. His body was already out the door by the time his brain changed its mind.

There was silence in the tent after BJ left. It wasn't an awkward silence but it definitely wasn't the most comfortable one either. Radar eventually broke it.

"Since when?"

"Since I was about 20." He paused as he looked down at the floor and then back up at Radar again. "I'm not gay Radar. I'm bisexual. I like girls too."

"I know."

"Okay."

"Do you think I'm bisexual then?" Radar asked.

"Wow you really get to the point quickly," Hawkeye sighed. "I don't know Radar. That's for you to find out."

"How am I supposed to know?" Radar cried.

"I just knew. For you it might be harder."

"You know I look up to you and everything," Radar said quietly. "I want it to be you that helps me find out."

Hawkeye's eyes grew incredibly wide. He jumped up from his cot and threw his martini glass onto the table. "Damn I hate this war! They throw you over here before you even have time to figure out who you are."

Radar stared at the older man. "Are you gonna help me or not Hawkeye? I need to know!"

"I don't know if I could Radar," Hawkeye whispered as he sat back down. "What you're asking is not only inventive but extremely unordinary. This is the first request for sex that I've ever gotten from an 18-year-old corporal from Iowa."

Radar was distressed. "Why couldn't you?"

"Because," Hawkeye cried loudly. "Everything is different afterwards. Like with BJ..."


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry that it took so long. I'm still not sure where I'm going with this.

**Disclaimer:** They aren't mine.

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"Hawkeye?"

"Huh?" Hawkeye sighed as he rolled over.

"Thank you."

"No problem. It was literally my pleasure."

"I'm going to have to get going before they notice I'm gone."

"They who?"  
  
"The other nurses. I told them I'd be in by midnight and it's already two," Yolanda Lurex whispered in the captain's ear as she carefully got up from the cot, taking the blankets with her and rapping them around her body.

Hawkeye watched Nurse Lurex dress and slowly followed her out the door. He grabbed hold of her arm gently as she started to walk away. He pulled her in close and kissed her.

"You've helped me more than you'll ever know, Landa."

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BJ sat on the edge of one of the cots in Post Op pretending to write a letter. There were words on the paper, but none of it seemed to make sense. It was as if someone had jumbled his brain up while he was sleeping.

Sweet sleep. It was something he hadn't had for a good 20 hours. Frank had been under the weather and BJ had volunteered to take his shift along with his regular one. BJ just wanted to get his mind off everything. However, he found it was no use.

It had been a little over a day since Radar had visited the Swamp in anticipation of receiving help. BJ noticed no difference in Radar except that he had been staring at him more often. But the look of anger or disappointment that BJ feared would overcome Radar's eyes never came. Instead it was a look of understanding, maybe even caring and compassion. Was it possible that Hawkeye had never told Radar? Not likely. Maybe Radar just didn't mind that BJ had shared more than a tent with Hawkeye.

BJ held his head in his hands as he tossed the supposed letter to the side. He stared at his watch and looked up. "Nurse, I'm going back to the Swamp. If anything comes up, Hawkeye is on call."

"Okay, Doctor."

BJ momentarily wondered where Hawkeye was and shrugged for no reason except self satisfaction. He left Post Op and trudged over to the Swamp in the dark.

Hawkeye shivered as BJ came in.

"Dammit, Beej. Close the door!" Hawkeye hissed as he pulled his blankets closer around him. He could still smell the young nurse's scent on them. "Ow! You just hit me!"

"Sorry," BJ whispered as he searched blindly for the light. "I can't see a thing. It's too dark in here."

Captain Hunnicutt turned on the light and sat on the edge of his cot, carefully removing his boots and pants.

Hawkeye rolled over and faced BJ. BJ was staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

BJ looked at Hawkeye's messed up hair and the glimmer in his eyes that he knew too well. "Who was it? Wait... never mind. I'd rather not know."

"Excuse me?"

"Forget it, Hawk." BJ turned the light back off and laid down, wrapping himself tightly in his blankets to prevent the chill from entering his body. He heard Hawkeye mumble something and then he fell asleep before he had time to think of something to mumble back.

BJ awoke several times in a cold sweat. It was nothing new to him; when dealing with the situations he dealt with everyday it was perfectly understandable that he'd have frequent nightmares. However these nightmares were different. They sometimes involved Hawkeye getting wounded and BJ not being able to help him. Occasionally it was the other way around. Tonight it was Radar that was wounded and both BJ and Hawkeye that could not treat him.

BJ blinked as he struggled to find his breath. He felt like he had just fallen off of a 20-story building and had landed on his feet. He sat up and closed his eyes tightly.

He looked over at Hawkeye's bunk, but it was empty. He looked to the other side of the tent. Frank had returned from Margaret's tent where she had been "watching over him" and was lying still on his cot, coughing like crazy and drowsy from medication. BJ decided that there was nothing he could do except go back to sleep and hope that the nightmares held off.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so... I still have absolutly no clue what I'm doing with this story. If you have any ideas, PLEASE let me know. Thank you. _G.N._

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, still not mine.

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BJ tossed and turned as he tried to revert himself to a peaceful slumber. He would slowly close his eyes and start dreaming and then he would awake startled. The reality version of the Swamp blurred with the dream version of the Swamp and BJ couldn't tell what was real anymore. BJ awoke startled and fully aware. He sat up cautiously, thinking he had heard the sound of choppers in the distance. But there were no choppers, no wounded. So he threw himself back onto his cot. 

The young captain reached into his open footlocker and groped around for the paper that he had written to Peg on. He wondered what he had indeed written to her. Maybe it would make sense now that he had slept.

_Dear Peg,_

_As I sit here in Post Op, I can't help but forget who I am. I know it sounds crazy, but I honestly don't know. I miss you so much, Peg, yet I don't want to leave this morbid place. I'm afraid that if I leave, the old me will remain here while this old disgruntled captain comes home to you in Mill Valley. I wonder why I don't feel like I know myself and then I remember. Hawkeye. That wonderful bastard. I thought that once I had been with him I'd know myself better, but instead I'm only more confused. I think I love him. That doesn't mean I don't love you, Peg. It's a different kind of love. I just don't know which kind it is... and I believe that that is my problem._

_Much love,_

_BJ_

"Fool," BJ hissed as he crumpled up the paper. "Why would I write this? And to Peg no less!"

"Because that's how you feel."

BJ looked up and Hawkeye's brilliant blue eyes met his. "What?"

"It's a beautiful letter, Beej. I like the parts about me. You know, if you ever decide to stop being a surgeon, you'd make a fantastic writer."

BJ's breath was taken away as Hawkeye took a seat next to him. "You read my letter?"

"Yeah. You really shouldn't leave your footlocker open. Last night I saw it sticking out and wanted to know what you were telling Peg about this whole situation. But such a brilliant letter, BJ. You are very descriptive. I love how you call me a 'wonderful bastard'. It has a nice ring to it."

"I... I didn't mean that, Hawkeye," BJ struggled. "I don't even know when I wrote that..."

Hawkeye snatched the crumpled ball of paper from BJ and smoothed it out. "Says here you wrote it while in Post Op." Hawkeye smiled as he reread the letter. "Oh, and you think that you love me, eh?" He looked over at BJ, who had his eyes shut tightly. "Calm down, Beej. You're breaking into a cold sweat."

"I can't help it..."

"What? Loving me?"

"No, sweating."

"Ah."

"And I don't love you, Hawkeye. I think I must have been drunk or really tired or something when I wrote that..." BJ wiped his forehead with his arm.

"Cut it out, Beej. No need to try to hide it. Besides, you are a bad liar." Hawkeye smirked and tossed the letter back to BJ.

"Hawk?" BJ mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Who were you with last night?"

"Nurse Lurex. How'd you know that I was with someone?"

"You can't love someone without knowing a thing or two about them, Hawkeye."

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Radar sat with his arm around a lovely young woman as they watched a movie. She had the most brilliant brown eyes and the sweetest face. Radar was scared, uncomfortable, and very clammy.

"Stupid Hawkeye," he whispered to himself. "This ain't gonna help me a bit."

"Did you say something, Radar?" Yolanda Lurex asked.

"No..."

"Okay." She smiled sweetly. "Hey, this movie is pretty boring. Wanna go back to the nurses' tent with me? No one's there..."

Radar felt his heart stop. "Sure," he gasped.

Nurse Lurex took Radar's hand and led him out of the Mess Tent, which was temporarily being used as a movie theater. She guided him into the nurses' quarters, which were, as she had said, empty.

"I understand you need some help, Radar," Yolanda said as she slowly and seductively undid the buttons on her shirt. She leaned in towards the young corporal, who was horrified and whispered in his ear, her brown hair brushing against his shoulder. "I hope I can be of some assistance."


End file.
